The Office Birthday Party

Aren’t office birthday parties fun?

As you approach your cubicle you can’t help but notice the twisted pink and blue nightmare that is cascading from the ceiling and flowing directly down into your cubicle.  Sighing you think to yourself, “which moron stayed late last night to put this up?”.  You are then expected to work throughout the day draped under a canopy of cheap dollar store crinkle paper knowing that you will later be honored with the daunting task of ripping it all down.  Hopefully by the end of the day half of it would have fallen down anyway.  Good, less for you to clean up later.

Ah, the proverbial birthday cake.  The one purchased from the corner grocer the day before, during someone’s lunch hour.   A yellow sponge like substance covered with white frothy icing and a rainbow of sugary roses adorning each side.  A sweet treat guaranteed to produce sugar crash in the most productive of workers. “Happy Birthday” is scribbled across the middle as if it were written by the hand of a child.  Lucky for you the fire codes prevent the use of open flame so there won’t be any candles (not that they would all fit on the cake anyway).   “I’ll just have a tiny sliver, thank you very much.”

Suddenly the office erupts into song as the Corporate Tabernacle Choir recites the lyrics to “Happy Birthday To You” (albeit in the key of b flat).  Was that a dog howling in the background?

Then there is the group birthday card.  The one that reads “Happy Birthday, from the whole gang!” and is littered throughout with cute little animals where each person signs their name to the creature that they think resembles them the most.  The card that is given to the boss for his signature last so that he has no other option but to sign his name to the jackass.  You would think that he would get the hint by now.  Looks identical to the card you received last year, doesn’t it?

As the day drags on you will be visited by various coworkers (some of which you have never even seen before) all asking the same ridiculous question, “Oh, is it your birthday?” Gee what could have possibly given it away?  Could it be the hideous streamers purchased off the clearance rack?  The half-eaten birthday cake sitting on the edge of the desk?  Or maybe it is the big bright metallic “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” banner plastered across the overhead bins?  Yeah, that is definitely the culprit.  You choke back the desire to respond with a sarcastic “No I just felt like decorating today” and instead you smile and nod as you offer them a piece of birthday cake (becoming stale by the minute, mind you) because there is no way that you want to take home any of the leftovers.

5 o’clock already?  Brushing away the last few crumbs of birthday cake from your desk you scour your surroundings making sure you have left no scotch tape behind on the prefabricated office furniture.  Securing the lid on the last few pieces of birthday cake you rush off to find the first associate with children so you can pawn off the leftovers.  The single mother of three thanks you now but will curse your name later when Junior decides to paint his little sister’s face with red and purple roses.   As you are leaving the office you glance back to your now naked cubicle smiling softly as you reflect on the day’s events.  Maybe next year it will be a chocolate cake.

The pomp and ceremony of the office birthday party may be a silly little tradition but still it is a kind gesture from coworkers and it is nice to be remembered on your special day.

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Holiday Fun

Last year my sister-in-law hosted a scavenger hunt as our Christmas activity.  About four weeks prior to Christmas we were given a list of items.  We were to take a photograph of the items on the list and present our slide show during our Christmas gathering.  My husband and I won the scavenger hunt.  Here are just a few of the photographs from our winning entry.

 Something alive that is naughty and nice
 
Red and green christmas treat
 
 Kiss Santa in Ravens wear.
 
 Christmas cards 
 
 
Something with a Reindeer
 
Holiday hat
 
A drink that will keep you warm on a cold winters night
 
Your toes in the spirit of the holidays
 
An empty wallet
 
 Christmas carolling
 
 Reindeer footprints
 
Batteries not included sticker
 
 
For this year’s activity we have each been given a styrofoam ball to decorate and exchange during our Christmas gathering.  I don’t have a clue what to do with my styrofoam ball.  All suggestions are welcome.
 

Trick or Treat!

Halloween is my favorite holiday of all time.  It is the one day of the year where you can dress up and be anything you want to be.  It is also an excuse to purchase massive bags of candy and eat all of the leftovers.  Make sure you buy the good stuff though.  You don’t want to be stuck with the nasty treats.

Jack-o-latern

Image via Wikipedia

In my experience as a child these were the treats that I would love to find in my goody bag.

  1. Candy bars – Especially Snickers or Butterfingers
  2. Sugar Daddies/Sugar Babies
  3. Bubble Gum – Bazooka Joe with the little comic inside
  4. Twizzlers – Cheery flavored
  5. Blow Pops – Any flavor
  6. Milk Duds

By sheer contrast these were the treats that I hated to find in my goody bag.

  1. Raisins/Raisinets
  2. Pennies – What would a kid buy anyway with a handful of pennies today?
  3. Hard Candy – Boring!
  4. Smarties
  5. Neapolitan Coconut Squares – All I can say is nasty!
  6. Pixie Sticks – Just like eating cleverly packaged kool aid mix
Twix bar Purchased March 2005 in Atlanta, GA, USA

Image via Wikipedia

 Wishing everyone a safe and Happy Halloween and hoping you receive all of the treats you love in your goody bag!